Finally done with the Final

Ah what a wonderful feeling it is to say that I am FINALLY done with the Eng 102 final paper! 10 pages later, I can honestly say that was one of the hardest papers I've had to write. With so many requirements, it seemed as if I was never going to be able to produce a well written product AND fulfill each of the requirements Azor had written out for us.

I think the hardest part was getting started. Although I had so many ideas in my head, it was so difficult for me to decide what order to put them in, and for that matter, what to put in the paper and what to leave out. Although 8 pages seems like a lot to work with, once you get started the pages fly by.

I found a variety of info and just had a hard time tying every single aspect in. I didn't want it to be so jumbled where it was hard to follow. After all, this is our final grade and I'd like the paper to reflect the time and effort I put in outside of class.

After roughly 5 hours of sitting at my computer, I finally got the final draft complete. What an amazing feeling it was to print it off and put it in my portfolio, and close that portfolio for good. The entire week it's been eating away at me, the fact that I wasn't done with my paper yet. Now that I have it complete, it is definitely a weight off my shoulders. I loved being in Azor's Eng 102 class, but am so glad to say that my final paper is finally over.

Nearing the End

Ah! I cannot believe that this is the last full week of school before finals. And to be honest, I couldn't be happier. I only have 5 more days before class is completely over and then it's finals time. This is definitely what I've been waiting for since I've started school in September. The only thing is, school is definitely the last thing on my mind.

Can you blame me though? I mean Christmas is exactly two weeks from today! I'll admit, I've spent more time wrapping Christmas presents than I have preparing and studying for finals. So far, my mindset has been "oh well", but now thinking about how much I have yet to do, my Sunday has become pretty darn stressful.

I realize now I have so much to do before finals, it's not even funny. Still, something inside me tells me that I still really don't care and will continue to focus on Christmas. I keep telling myself that school is important and I have to get through it before Christmas comes, but I keep finding every excuse to do something Christmasy.

I've come to a conclusion, maybe I'll do my homework while listening to Christmas music with the tree on. Or maybe I'll just skip the homework and wrap presents instead. Who knows. The one thing I'm certain of, though, is that Christmas is two weeks away. YAY! :)

How much is too much?

Now that Christmastime is near, it's time to start shopping for gifts. This year, I finally have my own money to buy presents for my family, so it's a great feeling. Now that I have money, though, I noticed I've been going overboard on my spending. How much is really too much?

I have a family and a boyfriend as well. Of course, I wanna do absolutely everything in my power to make sure they have the most wonderful holiday possible. Although presents can't buy happiness, many of us seem to equate happiness with "things" and "stuff". And now a days, the amount of stuff you get for Christmas, seems to depict what kind of holiday you have.

So my question is, how to I ensure my family has a wonderful Christmas without going overboard on my spending? I know that everything that I get for my family they will love, but I since I can finally buy with my own money, I'd really like to make it something special.

I am no where near done shopping for my gifts, but I already seem to be going over board with my spending. Any suggestions? HELP!

Black Friday

This was the first year I've been Black Friday shopping. My sister loves to go, and this year she was going to go by herself so I figured I'd tag along. She is 17 and I'm 18, so we're very close in age. Our relationship has grown closer as we have gotten older, so I knew we'd have a great time together.

We started off at Walmart at 10 pm Thanksgiving night. This was not a good way to start my Black Friday festivity because everyone was so rude. I thought the holidays were supposed to be about happiness and cheer, but turns out it was just awful. I saw a 60 year old woman rip games out of people's hands (including children) :( and yell profanities at them. People getting punched and even a child breaking a wrist due to the harsh actions of larger adults. I couldn't believe my eyes, luckily we had more places to go.

Later, we headed to Target and then Boston Store which was also an adventure. I had to get a belt and an ice scraper for my boyfriend's mother. We stood in line for an hour and a half at the register to check out two items, and items that weren't even worth it! Needless to say, our feet were killing after that!

To finish off the night, we headed to Shopko. By this time, it was nearing 4 am, and we were tired. We came across some large body pillows in the aisle, and we just couldn't resist. At 4 in the morning, a pillow looks pretty damn good, so we each got one and headed on our way. Although I'm not much of a shopper, I found more things than my sister did! I had an amazing time giggling and making memories with her.

Although some people are rude and take the holidays a little too seriously, I loved going Black Friday shopping. It is a tradition my sister and I are going to make and enjoy each and every year. I just hope that more and more people realize what I did- the holidays aren't about getting the perfect gifts for cheap, but just the thought that goes into each item you purchase, and the fun times and memories made along the way.

So ready for something new

I know there are only 4 weeks left in the semester, but that can not go fast enough. With the holidays quickly approaching, school is the last thing on my mind. Although finals are coming quickly, I cannot bring myself to focus on what's truly important now because I am looking forward to what is to come. I recently put up a Christmas tree in my room, and I am in the holiday spirit, ready for school to be done.

It seems as if this semester is dragging on. Although September was only 2 months ago, it feels like we started these classes an eternity ago, there's no change whatsoever. Same people, same content, everything is the same. Even in high school it seemed there was at least some variation and excitement, whereas college is just a bore.

How on earth am I going to survive 4 years of this? 8 semesters of the same old stuff, day in and day out. When people said becoming an adult was hard, they weren't kidding. It's extremely boring growing up and I'd give anything to be young again where everyday things are new and exciting.

I need some motivation to find pleasure in the little things, the everyday things during college and my years as an adult. It's so hard to focus because the holidays are approaching, which gives me the excitement I once felt in childhood. I'm looking forward to break and a new year with a new start.

Where's the friend I once knew?

I hate knowing that things that were once so close to you can change in the blink of an eye. Especially people. As silly as it may sound, my great grandma was my best friend. I called her each and everyday and we talked for hours on the phone. I'd go visit her and eat lunch with her on a daily basis during high school. I could trust her with anything and everything, and then suddenly it all changed.

I've been with my boyfriend, Jake, for 2 years now. My great grandma is very opinionated, but from the second she met Jake, she's loved him. They had a special bond. She can't drive so he'd always take her shopping and run her errands for her when she was unable to get out of the house. He treated her like family and would do anything for her. One day out of the blue, she voiced her opinion that she thought my boyfriend was running my life and ruining the friendship Grandma and I once shared. This surprised me greatly, for it seemed as if all three of us had formed a special friendship now.

Needless to say, I was devistated. How could two people I loved so much oppose each other? I confronted my great grandma and she had no problem telling me everything wrong with my significant other. It hurt to hear these lies she'd all of a sudden came up with. Although my grandma means a lot to me, what she said was very rude and I sided with Jake instead. Days and weeks went by without a phone call from my "ex-best friend". It sucked knowing that there was bad blood between us, especially because we were once so close, but I couldn't stand the thought of her dissing Jake for no reason at all. Especially when all he ever did was care for her.

About a month later, I decided to call Grandma to see how she was. We mended the rough spots, yet it's still hard to get over what she has said. Recently, I brought Jake to see Grandma, which was not a smart idea. She didn't even look at him, which was even worse. This past weekend, I went to visit her by myself. As I talked with her, I began to realize that she wasn't the woman I once knew. I still love and cherish her as a person and friend, but the argument seemed to demolish our friendship and the special bond we once shared. She's going on 90 this year, and I know we won't have many more years together. It makes me sad that things aren't like they once were, and makes me a little guilty as well. Is it wrong of me to have hard feelings towards her? I want to be able to move on, but I don't see things going back to normal.

Christmas

I know many people don't want to face it, but Christmas is just around the corner. Thanksgiving is nearly 2 weeks away, and right after that starts the 25 days of Christmas movie marathon. Many people are Scrooges and say the time flies by after Thanksgiving, but me on the other hand, I cannot wait. Black Friday, Saint Nick's, and Christmas Eve are all things I'm so ready for.

Recently, I bought a tiny little Christmas tree, complete with ornaments and colorful lights. Although I've been temped to set it up for the past three weeks, I know it's too early for that. I can't help but want to celebrate Christmas 365 days of each and every year. Something about driving around town and seeing the lights just excites me. The ringing of bells, the glowing of Christmas trees in windows, and the buzz of holiday shoppers are something I cannot get enough of. In fact, I just started purchasing presents for my loved ones. I absolutely cannot wait to start wrapping. 

Am I the only one who wishes that there would be holiday movies on 24/7? I love turning on TV and seeing bows and lights and trees. I hate the people who complain about how Christmas is coming too fast and how they have no time to shop. I believe everyone should enjoy the holidays and realize that it's not about the presents or the wrapping, its about the love people share.

Christmas- PLEASE come faster! I cannot wait to spend time with my loved ones nestled close to a fire as Christmas music plays in the background. 

What's with the Costumes?

I can remember back when I was 6 years old and was soooooo excited for Halloween. I would dress up as anything from a princess to a cheerleader. Slowly, as the years passed by I got sick of dressing up and Halloween just wasn't that cool anymore. It was just more of a hassle to go out, then to have my mom buy candy for me. Now that I am 18 I certainly could never picture myself dressing up doing that childish stuff anymore, unfortunately, I feel like I'm the only one.

Last night by family and I went to the Craig Morgan in Milwaukee at the Bradley Center. When we parked we were greeted by a bunch of eager kids in their 20s ready to party. However, after seeing some of there costumes, I was not ready to party. I felt like I was part of a Halloween costume party gone wrong, very wrong. I just can't imagine dressing up in nearly next to nothing in the cold. It simply does not make sense to me and just doesn't seem like any fun.

For those of you wondering what there was to offer, first off not much, but there was basically anything a person could imagine. Everything from naughty nurses to skany schoolgirls to slutty secretaries were displayed, the only bad news is that WAY too much was shown. It was fashion show from hell if I've ever seen one. I wonder if some of these girls mirrors were broken before they left for this party. I was just so thankful to get out of there and back home to some sanity.

I could never see myself being one of those people standing in line for hours to get into a club freezing wearing nearly anything. I guess being drunk help because it sure seemed like the cold didn't affect any of them, they were out to party in bunches. On the flip side I was actually glad to see that because that definitely affirmed I will NEVER do any of that stuff in my entire life. Some people may think that's boring but I could care less. I would never want to humiliate myself looking like that. I could be doing something else way more fun instead and not looking nearly as ridiculous.

Not a Working Girl

I'm just going to come out and say it: I hate working. I know everyone hates working but I think I hate working more than the typical person, and I'm proud of it. I just wish there was a way for me to be lazy the rest of my life instead of having to keep a stable job. Life sucks.

I've only had two jobs in my life, both of them I quit after just 4 months. I know work is something everyone has to do, but it just seems as if I cannot seem to find a part time job that actually suits me. Both times, I tried working in stores but it seems that's just not for me. I hate standing around straightening shelves and dealing with crabby people all day. When will I ever find a job that I actually like?

As I think about my future, I realize that I really probably should just be a stay at home mom (haha). That's a job that I might actually enjoy doing, because I can sit on my butt and not worry about a thing. Although that's so unrealistic in today's economy, I suppose I can just cross my fingers and hope I marry rich and have that perfect life everyone dreams of. Yeah right!

For the time being, I guess I'm doing alright without a job. I don't have much extra spending money, but I love being able to spend time with family and friends without having to worry about going in to work and missing out on things worth remembering. Deep down, I know that I need a job, but for the time being, I'm trying to ignore my conscience and tell myself to make time for ME and everything else will fall into place.

Sweetest Day

This past weekend was Sweetest Day. Many people who don't have a significant other claim this is just a "Hallmark Holiday" and it is nothing meaningful. Although I don't consider it an actual holiday, I personally still think that it is something to be celebrated if you have someone to celebrate it with. Lucky for me, I had a great companion to spend Saturday the 15th with this year.

My boyfriend Jake is one of those people who believes it is just another day, a Hallmark Holiday. Being the good boyfriend he is, though, he knows I love every chance to celebrate something, so he acted like this day was a big deal. He went all out and planned a wonderful date day for the two of us, and needless to say, it was awesome.

We ended up going to a pumpkin farm in Random Lake. When we arrived, we hopped on a hay ride and picked out pumpkins. It took forever for me to find the perfect one, but luckily Jake was willing to walk distances just to find me the roundest and orangest pumpkin. Finally we found our pumpkins-Jake's being a whopping 29 pounds! After that, we decided to make our way to the corn maze, which was the best part. It was huge and Jake and I had such a great time.

After we got home, we went out to eat at Applebee's and carved pumpkins. When that was done, we snuggled up on the couch and watched some T.V. together, talking and reminiscing about our day. It was the perfect ending to a perfect day. I know many of you don't care at all how Jake and I spent Sweetest Day, or if we celebrated it at all. The point I want to get across, is that it's very important to take time to celebrate the relationship shared between you and a significant other. I loved having alone time with Jake at the pumpkin farm and felt that it was a great way to escape life's troubles and stresses. Each and every couple should take time away from the world to celebrate eachother and the love they share.

I hate growing up

Alright, I'm just going to come out and say it- I hate growing up. There are so many big decisions to make that can potentially affect the rest of your life. Who you're going to marry, what job you're going to pursue, the type of education you're going to get. AH I just cannot handle this! Coming from high school where there was not a worry in the world to college where there are so many decisions and different paths you can take-this is just too stressful for me.

I have always wanted to become an Elementary Education teacher. I've taken all the steps possible up until now to pursue that dream. Unfortunately, though, recently I've had a change of heart. Now I'm completely unsure of something I was once SO sure about. Why did I all of a sudden change my mind? Will I grow out of this phase and want to become a teacher again, or do I want to pursue a whole different career path?

I have been stressing about this for the past week. I know that I don't have to make the decision this second, but I'd like to kind of have an idea so that I can schedule classes next semester according to my plans. There are just so many different things to consider when growing up, and I would give anything to be young again.

Does anyone else feel the same way? Completely confused about life and every decision that comes along with it? Although I'm the only one that can make these big choices, I wish someone could give me all the answers and help me through this. AH I want to be young again!!!

Is it bad to live for the future rather than the present?

I'm a coach for the Sheboygan South JV Dance Team. This past weekend, we hosted a Kids Clinic, where little girls come and learn dance moves and perform at halftime of a football game. As I watched the children, I couldn't help thinking of how my children are going to act, look like, and be like. Although I am only 18, I find myself wondering about the future all the time. I am told that I should stop worrying about the future and worry about the here and now. Well for me, that's so hard because the "here and now" is so boring and pointless.

Similar to many girls my age, I want to know who I am going to marry. I want to know exactly what he will look like, how he will propose, and what dress I'll walk down the aisle in. I have spent many years of my life planning out my "dream wedding" and call me crazy, but I cannot wait for all of my plans to come true. I guess I am kind of putting the cart before the horse because I am only in my first year of college, but hey a girl can wish, right?!

Back to my previous thought, seeing the girls at the dance clinic made me extremely excited to have children of my own someday. Of course, I am no where near ready for kids now, but I can't help but think about how they'll look and act, what they'll be interested in, and who they'll become. 

All of this stuff is exciting to think about, but then somehow I get snapped back in to reality. I have to remember I'm only a freshman in college (ugh) and  I have a verrrry long way to go before I have kids, let alone get married. It just seems like there is so much to look forward to and it is coming at such a slow pace. I guess patience is key. Although many people may tell me that I'm overlooking the present and jumping the gun while looking towards the future, I feel as if it is a good thing, getting me prepared for what's ahead in my life- (just a side note: I do have pretty high hopes for my future husband/the proposal so whoever he may be, it better be worth the wait!)

What happened to the good ol days?

This morning I was on Facebook (surprising, I know). As I was looking at the recent status posts that my friends had put up, I ran across one that said "I miss the old days." That got me reminiscing about my old memories. Rather than post a Facebook status similar to my friend's, I figured I'd just blog about it.

Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love my life now. But what happened to the 'good 'ol days'? Growing up has it's benefits, but I would give anything to be young again. Reminiscing always brings me to my freshman year of high school. Although everyone hates freshmen, I can honestly say that was the best year of my schooling career. Yeah, the seniors picked on us and everyone had rude remarks as we walked down the halls, but I didn't have a care in the world.

During high school, I had 4 close friends. I can still remember many of the goofy and immature times we shared. Although we were stupid and giddy girls, I'd love to go back to that time of my life. Staying up and talking about boys or dressing up in stupid costumes could always guarantee a good time. Despite what anyone had to say about us, we had an amazing freshman year because we knew that we could always count on each other.

Although we stayed close friends throughout high school, it seemed like nothing was as great as freshman year. As we got older, serious boyfriends and alcohol related events got in between the close bond we all once shared. To this day, I know I can go to any one of those 4 girls during a rough time or problem and they will be there for me-I know that won't ever change- but it kills me to know that we let silly things get in the way of our friendship, which drifted us apart.

In summary, I'm almost thankful for that Facebook status "I miss the old days", because it got me thinking about how fortunate I am to have great friends and it reminds me that we will never forget all the amazing times we shared together.

College..Not Worth the Hype

Is it too soon to say that I hate college? Granted, it is only a week into the school year, but I can honestly say that I am already ready to quit. When I was in highschool, it seemed like the college lifestyle was SO much better. Less class time, more accountability, and absolute freedom to do as you wish. Boy, was I wrong. It seems as if nothing has changed since high school, and if it has changed, it's only gotten worse.

Prior to this year, I went to South High School. There, we had about 2,000 students, which was absolutely amazing. Going to sporting events, pep rallies, and school dances guaranteed a good time with great people. I was totally used to walking down jam-packed hallways and rushing to get to class in the six minute passing periods. The different varieties of people created a crazy atmosphere, one that I took for granted. Now that I go to a small college, I realize how much I miss the annoying freshmen who walk slow in the hallways, the drama-filled school dances, and the 2,000+ students at South.

Not only is the social aspect of school missing at college, but I really hate the academic portion as well. I realized that it would be different than high school, but I didn't know it would be THAT different. Last Wednesday, I spent at least three and a half hours in the library, working on ONE chapter in my book. I know that all the hard work will pay off in the end but for the time being, it is very frustrating. I swear my eye has been twitching for the past week due to stress and lack of sleep. This is only the second week, I can only  imagine what the rest of the year has in store for me.

I spent the entire weekend (literally) doing homework and now I get to go right back at it again tomorrow for another week. (yay..) I know all of this studying will pay off in the end, but it seems as if the end is absolutely nowhere in sight. The thought of having at least 4 more years of college is terrible and I can't stand it. I'm hoping that it can only get better from here, but things aren't looking too promising.